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  • Added on: Oct 27 2011 11:24 PM
  • Date Updated: Nov 12 2011 11:51 AM
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I Can't Even Breathe Without You * * * * * 2 Ratings

Author(s): Enjin Yamimaru

I Can’t Even Breathe Without You by Enjin Yamimaru tells the story of Niki, the childishly cute mangaka, and his childhood friend, handsome and successful businessman Shouji. For several years the two men have lived next door to each other and for all that time Niki has relied on Shouji to take care of him. Niki’s life is in shambles when Shouji isn’t around, something that even his editors are well aware of, but Shouji doesn’t mind since he enjoys doting on his friend. However, whether Shouji does everything for Niki because they are best friends or for a different reason, remains a mystery. Things soon become complicated for the companions, though, as Niki starts to become more aware of Shouji, while Shouji seems to be distancing himself Niki. However, when an interfering assistant comes between them, the fate of their relationship rests on Shouji’s shoulders.

Having a one-sided love is a very common yaoi plot, however, Enjin-sensei uses a couple of themes throughout this manga that are not quite as common to bring her two protagonists together. One of the themes behind I Can’t Even Breathe Without You is the danger of over-dependency. Enjin-sensei uses plenty of symbolism to aptly convey the concept in several panels. From piles of pizza boxes to dirty clothes strewn across the room to the disgust on Shouji’s face as he crinkles his nose at his smelly friend – the reader understands that Niki is not only being spoiled, but he is dangerously dependent on Shouji. Niki doesn’t eat right, he loses weight, he doesn’t bathe and it isn’t normal, it goes beyond wanting to be taken care of. Any time that Shouji is away from Niki for even a small amount of time Niki’s body and room begin to show signs of Niki’s self-negligence. He is so used to Shouji taking care of him that he has long since given up caring for himself. It’s easy to sympathize with Niki, he acts very child-like leading the reader to believe that he might be slow and in need of care, but as the story progresses there is an impression that perhaps the issue of dependency has more to do with loneliness and possessiveness than childishness. Probably the most important theme in I Can’t Even Breathe Without You is that of growth. Growth and dependency tie-in very nicely in this manga because as it was pointed out previously, Niki appears to be very childish next to his friend Shouji, who is a mature adult that functions perfectly in society. Enjin-sensei originally uses Niki’s dependency to hinder his journey to adulthood, but then employs crisis in his work by way of the antagonist, Niki’s thieving assistant Kanae, and conflict in his life when Shouji pushes Niki away, as a means of forcing Niki to grow up.

The story is crafted well from beginning to end. The dialogue isn’t too formal and there are enough flashback scenes for the reader to understand of why Niki is so child-like. Some of the dialogue seemed a little off or misplaced, which could be a result of translation, but overall it was simple and effective. Enjin-sensei develops her two protagonists fairly well, although we come to know Niki better than Shouji. She also involves a female character that helps the reader learn a little bit about Shouji. Enjin-sensei really emphasizes Niki’s strong dependency to Shouji through his dialogue. He uses Shouji’s name frequently, especially when they are apart as if Niki simply has to call out his name and Shouji will appear before him. Kanae aptly tells Niki that he “sounds like an abandoned woman” which directly correlates to how well Enjin-sensei made Niki dependent on Shouji.

Enjin-sensei pens the most beautifully expressive people in I Can’t Even Breathe Without You. At first glance her art style might seem loose as she does have an airy, sketch-like touch to her work, but upon closer inspection the beauty of her people is revealed. Expressions can be hard for an artist to truly capture and in yaoi manga, all too often, expressions seem to come second to the plot or smut. Not so with Enjin-sensei. Niki and Shouji burst with character in so many panels it is hard to choose a favorite. Their expressions are so delightful it is difficult not to smile when Niki is drooling over Shouji’s pancakes or smirk when Shouji grimaces at the mess in Niki’s room. Enjin-sensei’s men are gorgeous as they should be for this genre with Niki being an absolutely adorable uke and Shouji a smoldering hot seme.

I Can’t Even Breathe Without You blends just the right amount of boy love content into the overall storyline so as not to overpower the plot. Enjin-sensei focuses more on building the relationship between Niki and Shouji through conflict and subsequent resolution than through sex, though Enjin-sensei also employs non-con as a way to confuse our cute protagonist and prolong the tension between the two men. The build-up to the final love scene is done hot enough to please most yaoi lovers, but the lack of full disclosure of said consummation is a bit of a disappointment. Even so, again Enjin-sensei draws such lovely expressions, especially on Shouji’s face as all of his feelings catch up to him, that it almost makes up for it.

At twelve solid chapters that do not detract from the main storyline, I Can’t Even Breathe Without You is a thorough, but not drawn-out read. The manga’s storyline is sensitive and enduring, with a degree of angst that can be appealing to some readers. There isn’t a lot of boy love content, but what is in the manga is important to the plot. The artwork is pretty without being over-done and her men are beautifully drawn. For yaoi readers wanting more substance than smut this is the perfect manga.

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